The families react to Jennifer's attitude about Trump
Again, mirroring the real world, the Harpers have to deal with the biggest Trump deplorable imaginable, Jennifer Barrett, who doesn't even BOTHER hiding her glee.......especially to the point where she barges her way into Dylan Harper's townhouse and tries to watch the inauguration, which angers everyone, and forces the Harper's butler, Bryan Steensland to eject her! At day's end, it doesn't end well for her at all! Far from it! Where she thought that everyone would be bowing and worshipping her and her wonderful president, that proves not to be the case. More accurately, her day ends with her getting drunk (because not everyone was like her) and getting into a bar brawl (at a GAY bar, no less) and her sitting in a jail cell for busting one of the locals in the jaw, breaking it and him pressing charges for felony malicious assault! Scene Dylan's townhouse. The family is dressed in black. Although there is a détente between the Harpers and those who voted for Trump, there are those deplorables who do not bother to hide their glee about him being inaugurated. One of them is Jennifer Barrett! She is dancing along and wearing a smug smile as she saunters to the Harper's stoop. Mrs. Amberson, one of the members of the Harpers staff, who despises her (as does the entire Harper family, not to mention everyone in the Boston metro area, but she is too delusional to realize it), slams the door in her face. MRS. AMBERSON: You are not welcome here, begone with you! JENNIFER (demanding): Let me in! Everyone is required to let me in when I demand it! MRS. AMBERSON: NO! The master said you are not welcome here. JENNIFER: I don't give a damn what that bastard Dylan Harper says! It's what I say that matters! And I am entitled to be anywhere I want to, so I will come in anyway! (She barges right in!) DEREK (irate at the lack of propriety and manners of the interloper, he takes manners and propriety very seriously for such a young man of his age): What the?! What do you think you are doing? Have you NO manners?! JENNIFER: Shut up, brat, and speak when you are spoken to! Or, I'll knock you down! MRS. AMBERSON (angry that the young master was insulted): You dare to knock him down, lady, and I will have you locked up! (Jennifer ignores her. She walks toward the living room) SHEILA: Just what the hell do you think you're doing? JENNIFER: None of your damned business! SHEILA: This is my house, and as such it makes it my business! JENNIFER: Oh, shut up! MICHELLE: Get out of here at once! JENNIFER (laughing in scorn): No! MICHELLE: I am not going to tell you again! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE, RIGHT NOW! This is my children's house, not yours! JENNIFER (ignoring Michelle's orders): Oh, shut up, you bitch! I said no, and I mean NO! I can do whatever I want! I am going to park myself on this couch! Now, peasant, turn on the TV to Fox News, the ONLY news network WORTH watching, so I'' watch the GLORIOUS coverage of Donald Trump, the greatest president in the world, being inaugurated! SHEILA: Go to hell! JENNIFER ''(screaming): Do it, RIGHT NOW! I demand you do so! And you! (she shoots a withering glare at Mrs. Amberson) Get me a drink and be quick about it! I want a drink, and I want it RIGHT NOW!!!!!! MRS. AMBERSON (thoroughly upset): I don't have to do what she says, do I, ma'am? SHEILA (gently): No, Mrs. Amberson, you don't have to give her a damned thing! Because she is LEAVING, whether she likes it or not! (Enter, Dylan, he is furious) DYLAN (coldly): What are YOU doing here? JENNIFER: Do I give a damn what you think?! I can come in here anytime I wish and there is NOTHING you can do to stop me! DYLAN (angered): I would advise you to get the hell out of my house! You are trespassing! JENNIFER: No, I am not! This is MY neighborhood and I will do whatever I damn well please! Now shut up and let me watch my inauguration! (her face goes into absolute bliss) This is the most HISTORICAL day in the country's history! We have one of the GREATEST Presidents of ALL time. Donald Trump! How LUCKY is this country to have such a WONDERFUL president like him! MRS. AMBERSON (sarcastically): I weep for this country! JENNIFER: Shut up, slave! I am watching MY show! MICHELLE: Don't you dare disrespect her! JENNIFER: I can disrespect ANYONE I see fit! This is a free country and I can do whatever the hell I want to! DYLAN (glaring at her): Oh, yeah?! Well, we'll see about THAT one, bitch! You will learn to NOT disrespect ANY of my servants! (He grins at his butler) Bryan? Would you please do us the great honor and get this disrespectful strumpet off of my couch and throw her out of this house? BRYAN (grinning back at his long-time master and friend): It would be my greatest pleasure, sir! (The butler grabs the screaming Jennifer off the couch. She is marched forcefully to the door) JENNIFER (yelling):' Let go of me! I will not allow this! This is my happy day! This is NO way to handle me on my happy day!' BRYAN (angrily): You were told to leave, lady, and you refused to listen. Now, shut up! And LEAVE! (Along comes Ashley, she is enraged) ASHLEY: Clearly you don't listen! LEAVE, and be quick about it! JENNIFER: Another county heard from! I will NOT leave! ASHLEY: Shut the hell up, bitch! I don't like you! (Jennifer starts screaming) JENNIFER: THIS IS MY HOUSE! MINE! And EVERYBODY loves me! MICHELLE: Think again, woman! JENNIFER: THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!!! THIS IS ALL MINE! DYLAN (agreeing with his mother): No, it is NOT! Get out! JENNIFER: NO! YOU CAN'T THROW ME OUT OF HERE! (She begins to thrash about and throwing a tantrum) This is MY HOUSE! Why won't you let me have it? Everyone always gives me what I want! (she begins to howl and then she bursts into tears) 'Why can't you LOVE me?! Everybody loves me! I am so wonderful and I am automatically loved and adored! How can you lot not love me?! There is so much about me to love! ' DEREK (sarcastically): Don't be so sure of that! JENNIFER: It's not fair! I am supposed to be worshipped and loved! ASHLEY (dismissively, she is more dismissive and aloof at times than her twin brother): Obviously she never grew up! MICHELLE: Quite right, my dear. DEREK (snobbishly, a rarity for the usually sweet, caring and respectful young man): Let's get rid of the trash! (The whole company laughs, Mrs. Amberson kisses Derek on his cheek, which provokes a blush from the shy Derek. Jennifer is enraged!) JENNIFER (screaming once again): YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! NOBODY CAN! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL SUFFER!!!!!!!! (Enter Jacqueline, who is infuriated!) JACQUELINE: Obviously, you did NOT learn! Get OUT! Before I beat the shit out of you again! JENNIFER (getting full of herself again): Try it! I'll have you up for assault! JACQUELINE (in a warning voice): Do NOT tempt me! JENNIFER (taunting): I dare you! Hit me! (Jacqueline obliges! She knocks Jennifer across the room!) JACQUELINE: Get the FUCK out of this house, RIGHT NOW, before I break your damned fool neck! JENNIFER (still screaming): You will not get away with it! I will see to that! I will call Donald Trump! He will fix you! DYLAN: No, he will not! I got a letter from him. Not long after the election, in fact. He understands that we are not in support of him OR his policies, as we are Democrats, but he respects us and we respect him as we both run large businesses. And he has a MESSAGE for you, Barrett! JENNIFER (brightening): That I am getting the Medal of Freedom from him?! SHEILA (smiling an acid smile): No! He told you to go and drop dead! He also saluted Jacquie for beating the royal piss out of you! JACQUELINE (quite thrilled): Praise indeed from him! JENNIFER (she explodes in fury): DAMN YOU ALL! YOU ARE RUINING MY HAPPY DAY! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY HAPPY DAY AND YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING FOR ME!!!!!!!!!! (She bolts out of the door, bursting into tears once again, nearly running into Velda who is coming up the walkway to the door) VELDA: Watch what you're doing. I nearly dropped this crock pot! JENNIFER (rudely): Fuck off, you old bat. VELDA: You show some respect, woman! JENNIFER (going into pity-party mode): No, I won't! You hate me! Everyone hates me! (Jennifer bursts into tears again) VELDA (coldly): Turn them off, Tallulah! We've done this scene before! JENNIFER: SHUT UP! (Enter Anngelique, another person who doesn't put up with Jennifer's manipulations) ANNGELIQUE: No, bitch! YOU shut up! (Anngelique shoves her to the ground and beats the tar out of Jennifer again!) JENNIFER (howling): This is not fair! You're all ruining my happy day! This is supposed to be my happy day! The day that Donald Trump is being inaugurated as the Savior of this Country and as one of the most wonderful presidents of this whole country and you're ruining it for me! I hate you all! (She runs down the street, still crying) 'ANNGELIQUE: That was a disgusting display if I ever saw one! VELDA: She's out of her mind! What you kids would today call bat-shit crazy! ANNGELIQUE (grinning): She always was! VELDA (grins back): Even I can grasp some of the slang of today. ANNGELIQUE: That is awesome! VELDA (briskly): Well, let's forget about her. She isn't worth the energy to waste. I brought over some delicious Broccoli Cheese soup. Soup to warm the soul and help you feel better. I made it myself. ANNGELIQUE: Thank you, Vel. Just what we all need! VELDA: You are so welcome, my dear. I called Mrs. Hollis. She's got some other food for us. We'll have a regular old banquet. ANNGELIQUE (grinning): You just said the magic words! Count me in! (Michelle brightens when she sees Velda come up the walk.) MICHELLE: Come on in, Vel. We need your cheer today. VELDA: Thank you, dear. And I am here to cheer you all up. What are we all watching today, instead of that ridiculous inauguration? MICHELLE: Downton Abbey. A MUCH better offering than that clown being inaugurated! VELDA: Amen to that! (The family gets something to eat and they gather in the den to watch Downton Abbey. The scene shifts.) Shift to: '''A nondescript bar on the south side of Boston. The disgusted Jennifer is howling in grief and knocking back drink after drink in the hopes of getting drunk! A man who looks like a regular is not too thrilled with her howling. He gives her a real hard glare. MAN (suspiciously): Never seen you here before. JENNIFER: What do you care?! MAN (it is clear that he does not like her): Well, forgive me, and excuse me for living! JENNIFER (snobbishly): Get the hell away from me! I don't want anyone near me. MAN: Excuse me for fouling up your rarified air, you stuck up snob! (That makes Jennifer snap in rage, and she just breaks the man's jaw!) JENNIFER (screaming): ANYONE ELSE WANT TO GET THE SAME?! THEN LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! (She sits down and drinks another drink, folding her hands in an innocent gesture and smiling her insincere smile that fools nobody!) MAN #2 (angrily): You hurt my friend! JENNIFER: Yeah, I did. So what?! I won't be told how to behave here! Get away from me or I will hurt you too! MAN #2: Try it! (A full-scale brawl erupts and Jennifer is fighting every man in the bar. She is absolutely appalled when she discovers where she is! She is in a GAY bar! Her spree of drinking had made her so impaired and so intoxicated that she would go into any bar, and she found herself in this one! And a local one to boot, as the regulars tend to protect their own!) JENNIFER (arrogantly):' What the HELL am I doing in this FAG hole?! I am a MORAL woman, I do NOT need to be in a room infested by FAGGOTS!' MAN #2 (angrily, landing a punch in Jennifer's face): Nobody invited you, bitch! GET OUT! JENNIFER: GOD DAMN IT! I WILL MURDER YOU ALL! (The cops, whom the bartender called when Jennifer broke the man's jaw, come in and grab Jennifer! The man whose jaw Jennifer broke is taken to the hospital. He would be fine and so infuriated was he, that he has malicious assault charges filed against Jennifer. She is thrown into a jail cell!) COP: You will be charged with felony malicious assault! JENNIFER: Go to hell! COP (laughing): Too bad you missed the inauguration! Oh, and here is a message for you from President Trump! (Jennifer looks at it. There were just two words. "Drop Dead!") JENNIFER (throwing a tantrum):' I HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! YOU ALL CAN BURN IN HELL! THE WHOLE BOILING LOT OF YOU CAN GO BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!' GUARD: Shut up, Barrett! JENNIFER: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! (She breaks down and is sobbing in abject FURY! She flings herself on the floor of the cell and throws a tantrum. This day, which she thought would be so happy, where she would be worshipped and revered and everyone would be showering her president with undeserved accolades, ended in the exact opposite of her dreams and desires. She is still throwing a tantrum as the scene fades) Category:Episodes Category:Hall of Fame Episodes Category:Episodes featuring Dylan and Sheila Category:Episodes featuring Jacqueline Haller Category:Episodes featuring Anngelique Minzell Category:Episodes featuring Aaron and Aidan Atherton Category:Catfight episodes